Jealousy may seem a trivial matter but, however, it really can damage a relationship. A relationship can not flourish and progress into a wholesome relationship in the event that jealousy becomes an issue. That is why you should understand how to overcome jealousy in a relationship if you find yourself being jealous quite frequently, says noted Astro-strategist Hirav Shah.
That being said, just how do you overcome jealousy in a relationship?
Hirav Shah says, “First of all, you have to learn your reason for getting jealous from the get-go. Are you feeling unconfident regarding yourself or the relationship itself? Think you are trying to compete with a “threat”? Could you dread that your companion might leave you? Finding out just what triggers your jealousy can certainly enable you to prevent it.”
Shah adds, “As soon as you understand the reason why you get jealous or what precisely gets you to start off being jealous, it is possible to improve these things and attempt to uncover a way that you can flip things around to make sure they won’t trigger you to become jealous.”
Shah adds, “How does jealousy impact romantic relationships? It goes against the 5 Disciplines of Love – universal principles for building a trusting, healthy union. The discipline of unconditional love and compassion becomes impossible to sustain since jealousy impairs your ability to love without barriers. It’s also impossible to be truly vulnerable when jealousy is an issue since jealousy creates tension in the relationship. Envy clouds discernment, and it becomes hard to tell the truth from mere suspicions.”
“You can’t give your partner the freedom to live life when you’re jealous, nor can you truly feel free to live your own life when you’re dealing with a jealous partner. Jealousy can creep into all areas of your life, making it hard to enjoy anything. When jealousy is given full sway in a partnership, neither party thrives.”
HOW TO STOP BEING A JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND
Your partnership will suffer if you let jealousy go unchecked. Understanding how to stop being a jealous girlfriend or boyfriend requires being honest with yourself and your partner. Get to the bottom of your jealousy and create a healthier relationship dynamic.
1. BE HONEST ABOUT JEALOUSY’S IMPACT.
It’s impossible to solve a problem if you refuse to acknowledge it. Rather than pretending you aren’t jealous, or your jealousy isn’t a problem, be honest. How do you feel because of your insecurities, and how are they hurting your relationship? It might be difficult to acknowledge the problems your envy is causing, but take heart to the fact that you’re taking the first step to a healthier relationship.
2. ASK WHAT YOUR JEALOUSY IS TELLING YOU.
Psychology Today provides a family therapist’s view on how to stop being jealous in a relationship: Rather than view jealousy as a problem, look at your jealousy as a solution. Jealousy (or any other relationship issue) is a window of opportunity we can peer through to gain clarity. Instead of shutting down the jealous behavior outright, seek to understand the behavior first. What problem is the jealousy attempting to solve? If you’re feeling jealous because your partner broke your trust, it’s the breach of trust that’s the real problem. If you’re projecting your insecurities onto your partner, it’s your insecurities that need attention. If you’re jealous of your partner’s successes, perhaps there’s an unhealthy element of competition that needs to be eliminated. Whatever the cause, looking at jealousy as a “solution” and working backward from there will help you get to the bottom of how to stop being jealous in a relationship. By getting to the real problem, you’re able to address it to find lasting relief.
3. DISCOVER THE SIX HUMAN NEEDS.
It’s likely that your jealousy is telling you something about your Six Human Needs. These are the needs that must be met in order to create a fulfilling relationship. They underlie every decision we make – and jealousy is a decision. It isn’t a result of your partner’s actions or something that was done to you in the past. It’s a result of your unique values and your mindset. You can learn to control it, but you must go to the source: your own thoughts, emotions, and needs.
4. LIST YOUR INSECURITIES.
Mastering how to stop being a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend starts with looking at yourself. What insecurities are driving your jealousy? Are you unsure of yourself due to perfectionism? Are you comparing yourself to others? You’re not making this list to shame yourself – you’re owning your role in the relationship.
5. CULTIVATE SELF-CONFIDENCE.
Once you’ve made a list of the insecurities driving your jealousy, write down an antidote to each one. If you’re living under the shadow of your partner’s ex, make a list of all the traits your partner loves about you. If you constantly compare yourself to celebrities, unfollow them on Instagram for a week. By giving yourself space from feelings of inferiority, you’ll be able to develop the self-confidence you need to overcome jealousy.
6. CONSIDER THE SOURCE OF YOUR INSECURITY.
Mastering how to stop being jealous in a relationship is often a matter of healing the wounds of the past. If you’re struggling with jealousy due to an unresolved issue like childhood trauma or addiction, get the support you need to overcome it. With the right help, you can transform your struggles into sources of strength.
7. BE HONEST WITH YOUR PARTNER.
If you’re struggling with jealousy, your partner has probably already noticed. Your partner is most likely also contributing to the problem. By practicing effective communication, you’re acknowledging your contribution while also holding your partner accountable – and giving them the opportunity to support you as you work toward a solution.
8. BUILD HEALTHY COPING SKILLS.
Sometimes, it can be hard to let go of jealousy in a relationship if you don’t have healthier ways to relate. Provided your partner isn’t giving you a reason to be suspicious or jealous (ie. by cheating on you or habitually lying), it’s up to you to tame the source of your jealousy. Recognize that you don’t need jealousy – you’re just used to it. Practice self-care and nurture your physical, emotional, and mental health. When you prioritize healthy coping mechanisms, they become the norm and eventually replace jealousy.
9. DISCOVER THE ULTIMATE RELATIONSHIP PROGRAM.
It often isn’t easy to learn how to stop being jealous. Jealousy is such a deep-seated emotion that it often feels like we have no control over it. So where do you start? The key is to think of your relationship holistically. Jealousy is just a symptom of a larger disconnect. What’s really going on between you and your partner?
Hirav Shah concludes by saying, “If you really love your man/woman, what else matters? Or if something really bothers you, why don’t you tell them the truth or tell them by joking with them! It is often said the most serious things are said in jokes. Be smart! Wise! Love them as they are. That is what matters; what’s in them.
Make sure you stay involved with life and have hobbies and such so that you don’t focus too much energy on this not having the right relationship thing. It’s not everything in life! Appreciate what you have and keep yourself entertained! If you are an honest loving person with a fun enjoyable personality, eventually a partner who is mature and understanding will eventually find you and appreciate you!”